How to raise your child without hitting?
The pain of childbirth is forgotten, it goes after a period of memories, and the longest and most challenging journey begins, raising a child without resorting to methods that inadvertently destroy his personality, whether physically or even psychologically.
For example, the child cited a method used by previous generations around the world, but does this method work in our time? And that the proper physical, mental, and intellectual education and upbringing of a child is only appropriate to beatings?
Many new parents may wonder about the basics of proper education and ways of dealing with children, and about the optimal way to raise without hitting or violence, which we will talk about in our report.
Raising a child .. What is it?
Child-rearing is defined as the process of supporting the child, enhancing his affection, raising him, and bringing him up in sound physical, mental and intellectual development.
Grandparents used to educate their children in different ways in the past; some relied on verbal or physical violence, or both, as a method of education, but at present many parents take pride in raising their children and bringing them up in a way free of punishment and discipline, unlike what was used to build grandparents in the past.
However, there are still cases where the child is blamed for the "education" argument.
As for the methods of modern education, it is the one that balances the two issues. Some of the essential tips for raising a child, teaching him, and raising him properly are the following:
1- Differentiate between beating, violence, and punishment:
Punishment is an educational method, the purpose of which is to discipline the child and learn not to repeat the mistakes that occurred, while the concepts of hitting and violence are used to denote the aggression out of revenge, and this is far from the thoughts of education and its endeavors.
Many parents do not distinguish between the concepts of beatings, violence, and punishment, to the extent that they raise their children in a way in which the methods of discipline have no place, which contributes to the establishment of a misconception with the child: that he does not make mistakes, and that all his actions are correct.
Therefore, parents must be aware of the difference between these concepts to be able to use them in education, not to be punished for it.
2- The balance between softness and distress in speech:
There are many methods of teaching, including the old ones, including the modern ones. Still, the useful ones are what enables the child to learn in-depth, so that later he is a right individual, treating people with balance and wisdom.
That is why parents must follow the method of distress and firmness in their words, just as their grandparents did, without neglecting the side of the people in conversation and persuasion, so that the child can be educated learning the strengths of softness and distress, and the method of persuasion and influence.
3- Education without hitting:
Beating is one of the ways that leave a significant impact and consequences, whether on the physical or psychological side, and that is outside the limits of discipline and reasonable grounds that can be applied.
It may lead to the collapse of the child's personality, and psychology, which affects his future and shatters, and parents wonder about the methods of discipline and punishment that can replace the beating, and they are confused in this regard.
But in all cases, hitting the child should be avoided under any circumstance because the child does not know what he is doing, nor does he distinguish between right and wrong, nor does he intend to make a mistake; for this, he must not be punished with beating.
Modern breeding methods and alternatives to violent punishment
There are many useful methods of punishment for raising a child, including:
1- Time out
If your child does not play well or cries a lot or makes a lot of noise, prepare a place for him and ask him to sit quietly for a minute for each year of his life.
Initially, he will refuse, but with your insistence once and again, he will get used to it.
(This interrupted time should not be in the child's room, where the games around him are everywhere, and that should not become the only method of punishment, as there are better ways.) Try to have that angle in a place in the house with no surroundings that can harm the child by himself, And in the vicinity of your gaze.
2- The Season Fund
If a child annoys a lot of one of his toys and does not listen to your instructions and demands for calm, or causes a game of some harm, take it away from him, then put it in a box that I call a name, let it be (the season's box), and these games will come out only on Friday.
The game that your child refuses to clean up behind him, or tries to break, or that he is busy with and ignores your call to food loses it.
It is worth noting that persistence in the application of punishment is essential, and if you punish your child for something you should not ignore him the next two times, then the child will not take the threats seriously.
3- Compensation for wasting time
If your child wastes someone's time with his riots and actions, have them perform some tasks for them to compensate them for the time they caused.
If it causes wasted lunch, you should make it clean the dishes, just try to teach him that he is responsible for his actions and that every mistake he has repercussions and impact on others.
(Note: the punishment must be the same as the error, so the size and time of the sentence is not exaggerated)
4- An apology does not always repeat friendliness
While believing in the importance of apology and expression (I'm sorry), this sentence does not always come from the heart.
If you ask your child to apologize to his sister for getting ice cream, he will often have to lie.
But better than that, try to ask him what he loves the most in his sister, then ask him to tell her that himself, as this is much better than the hollow, flowery apology.
(Set special rules for your family, and punish your children for not complying with them.)
5- Don't use the referee's whistle
Are there permanent quarrels in your home among your children? You always have to arbitrate between them, use your Umayyad or patriarchal powers to separate them, and press the younger to listen to the words of the older one?
Don't do that, just ask your kids to get into their rooms and don't get out until they come up with a convincing solution for you and them.
(Put in place a system of punishment appropriate for your child's ages, as your 14-year-old does not have to sleep at 7 pm because his six-year-old brother does so.)
Ignoring teaches the child other ways to vent his feelings and desires instead of shouting and hitting the ground with his feet, and teaches the child to get rid of those behaviors that he is trying to attract attention such as whining, bouts of anger, repetition of the question, without an audience or listeners, there is no benefit from those actions.
You cannot isolate, ignore, or punish your child without giving him some attention beforehand and praising his positive actions.
If the child finds you ignoring his decisive actions, he will have to do the opposite to attract attention, and this is called positive education, which gives incentives for the behaviors you want.
And always remember that children want to please parents and get their attention in various ways, so he thanked the child for playing with his brother or sister, or because he put his toys in place, or just because he shared sweets with his siblings is something that encourages ethical behavior.
Perhaps this policy works for adults as well; all you have to do is try it!...