How to treat child lying causes
Children's problems vary a lot, but the question of lying is one of the issues that accompany every child in his life
Lying is one of the pests that afflict our societies, as it is one of the dangerous behaviors that affect the individual and organization as a whole. Lying destroys social relationships between people and is based on trust. We find that every mother (especially if she is a mother for the first time) faces this problem and complains and says my son is a liar, how do I fix it and how to punish him ???. What is lying and what are its types, and when is it badly damaged, why do children lie and how do we treat lies?
What is lying:
Lying is when a person says something incorrect in describing something or communicating it to an event without the words being accurate or realistic.
Not all lies are dangerous, as there are acceptable lies (not related to the structure of misinformation), and there is rejected, which is considered a crime.
Lying is not transmitted by the genes from the parents, but it can be acquired socially. The child learns from his parents, especially if it is a social lie that brings him closer to others and relates to it for his benefit to him.
The higher percentage of lying is because of the fear of telling the truth or fear that it is not socially desirable or fear of punishment if the child does something wrong.
Types of lying:
Lying has two main types:
1- Innocent lies:
It is that the child tells something and works his imagination in it and narrates stories that are not realistic. Still, they are from the fabric of his vision because they are attractive to him, and with the progress of the age stages, he will understand and understand the difference between the child and the truth.
And the remedy for this lies in that the mother or the father shared the stories with imagination and imagined that these stories are not realistic.
He was telling the child that he saw a stranger, dressed in such and such and such and such and such. The mother told him about a story that resembled her, but she explained to him that the reality is different and that people in real life do not resemble such fictional characters after they share what attracts and loves him.
Sometimes it is called confusional lying, in which the truth overlaps with dreams of the child without awareness, meaning that the child does not realize the difference between them.
The child was talking about a monster attacking him and some of him, and the speech was convincing in exquisite detail, but the topic from start to end was a dream that the child could not separate between them. Of course, this type also disappears with age.
2- Pathological lying:
Constant humiliation and repression of the child make him pretend that he has things that are not real, that his family possesses characteristics that are not real, or that he visited a place or was subjected to an experiment. This lie is only to appear and in which the child feels that he is less than others, and this type must be treated quickly by pressing the child that he is not less than others and point to his points of excellence to feel psychological balance.
The child's feeling of being deprived of the child's lack of confidence in those around him may push him to this kind of lie to achieve a benefit or benefit, such as evading his school duties under the pretext of the absence of his teacher or to ask for more money in exchange for something cheap.
And this lying can be a reason for obtaining the sympathy of parents, relatives, or even friends by claiming illness or that he had an accident due to the neglect of his parents and his indifference to his feelings and his love for being around him.
The lie of revenge:
Jealousy and unequal treatment between the brothers or the preference of one of them over the other is a reason for this lying (and sometimes it is subconscious), which is that the child lies and accuses one of them of an accusation to be punished. This type is found in many schools, especially adolescence (and the most significant percentage is among girls). Therefore, the guardian or teachers must verify and verify these matters first.
It is called lying to the defense for fear of punishment, or to protect or cover someone else, or to be distinguished or preferred from others in a situation.
In this type, the child lies because he sees that those around him (his social environment) are lying and that it is reasonable and permissible.
This lying arises in rigorous and controlled environments where the child finds his pleasure in challenging the orders directed to him.
As if the mother asks her daughter if she ate the food that she had previously thrown in the trash, and she answered yes to feel happy just because she did not fulfill the mother's order.
Chronic lying (pathological):
When lying is not treated, and it reaches a dangerous level, the child lies involuntarily; it will be tough to get rid of lying.
Lying is a scourge in society, and everyone must cooperate to treat it by:
To be a good example and role model for a child
Trying to discover the cause of lying and treating it with love and friendliness without hitting, ridicule, and libel, avoiding the leading cause of lying and treating its effects.
Emphasizing religious values and embedding them in the heart of children so that a conscious and attentive conscience will develop in them does not make mistakes for fear of punishment but love in a healthy and sound life.
The breeder (the whole family) must stop lying, making excuses, and dealing in an atmosphere of honesty.
Lying is never allowed, and impunity is provided that the truth is fully confirmed and that the child is not accused of lying without evidence. The child should not be permanently put to the test or forced to confess in front of one of his adverse consequences. If the child confesses and apologizes, there is no need for punishment.
Maintaining the child's feeling of security and avoiding cruelty so that the child does not deal with hate and then lying.
Common sense that is not polluted by the distorting environmental factors of the human soul is the reason for the spread of these negatives among children.